Would A Spin Doctor Have Saved Minister Kibuule?

The Spin Doctor. A Spin Doctor or Public Relations Officer is, “a person who tries to forestall negative publicity by publicising a favourable interpretation of the words or actions of a company, political party or a famous person.” That’s what Google says. What Google doesn’t add in the description, is that Spin Doctor’s greatest asset is the ability to lie – regardless that the truth is known to all.
Do you remember Mohammed Saeed al-Sahar, otherwise known as Comical Ali, the Iraqi Information Minister during the 2003 Gulf War? Whilst the coalition forces were shown on Sky TV, CNN, BBC News and Al Jazeera knocking on the gates into Baghdad, a defiant al-Sahar was spinning the news at a press conferences proclaiming: “They're not even within 100 miles of Baghdad. They are not in any place. They hold no place in Iraq.” He blatantly lied, and he lied right up until the end of the war.
Don Wanyama is a Spin Doctor at State House, just as Simon Kaheru is at Coca Cola and Sandor Walusim…

Is Time Management The Scourge Of Uganda

There is something about us that I don’t grasp – particularly when it derives to time keeping. It’s heartening that there are people out there who are resolute enough to take time seriously because they wear watches. But hold up. Many watch wearers, wear watches that stopped working years ago and when you ask why they wear a watch that doesn’t work, with a straight face they say “for just.”

Years ago, when Air Uganda was still in the skies, we were off to Nairobi on a media trip. We all knew our departure time was 14:30hrs and passports would be required. Well, we all did except for Hapless UBC Damsel. At 13:30hrs while the rest of us were checking in, there was no sign of Hapless UBC Damsel which, prompted Air Uganda Official to call and find out where she was.
Hapless UBC Damsel was not on the outskirts of Entebbe, or just about to be dropped off. Rather, she was still in Kampala around Clock Tower. Luckily, the flight was delayed that she managed to make it to the airport before ‘w…

Its 'Perfectly Acceptable' To Dump Your Rubbish On Kampala's Streets

Greg is a friend I have known since 2007, when he came to Uganda from South Africa to take up the position of General Manager at Munyonyo Commonwealth Resort. As an expatriate, Greg perceptibly glided in with expatriate philosophies and top on his list, was that of cleanliness. Greg doesn’t like litter and abhors folk who litter. 

When he strolled the grounds of the resort and came across litter – be it a crumpled-up bit of paper, sweet wrappers or cigarette butts, he would stop, pick them up and duly deposit them in the nearest dustbin.
Let’s pause a tad while I usher in Akhilesh, who I have known much longer than Greg and who is the amiable Deputy General Manager at Speke Resort Munyonyo. During the build-up to CHOGM in 2007, Akhilesh and I would retreat to the balconies of the apartments above the Viking Bar to rest our legs and have a breather.
From our vantage point that gave an almost panoramic view of the resort, we would look down and spy Greg doing his rounds which of course, in…

Dr Annette Kezabu Wants Your Kids Taught Porn At School!

Have those who went to school and garnered a good education gone off the rails? Did they spend year after year, hour after hour in class swotting for their PhD's, that it messed them up to a point they lost track with reality?
There is a woman who is learned and through toiling has managed to get herself a Dr title - Dr Annette Kezabu that is, whom I have never met nor heard of until she landed the most unenviable(?) job in the land – that of chairperson of the Pornography Control Committee under the docket of the Ministry and Ethics and Integrity.

The good doctor – and I presume after flipping through a number of porn magazines and videos had a mammoth Eureka(!) moment. Strike a pause because this is where I tell you to have a jerrycan of fuel. You will need it once you hear what she proposes.  
Here goes - and wait for it, wait for it, she wants PORN TO BE TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS! She said: “It will help students in primary and secondary schools to get a knowledge about pornography and …

M7s 'Kafunda' Rant Was Wrong And Unfortunate

I’m not keen on predictions, because often they turn out to be wrong like that of my colleague, Toronto based New Vision columnist – Opio Oloya, who was so certain that Hilary Clinton would succeed Barack Obama as the next president of the US. Unfortunately for him, he got egg slapped on his face because if memory serves me correct, his column was published the same day the elections results came out and as you all know, it was The Donald who had been voted in and not Clinton.
Looking further back down the corridors at prophecies that didn’t come true, another colleague – Kalungi Kabuye, in April 2012 under the headline - ‘Death of The Kafunda’, he predicted the demise of the kafunda. Thus, he wrote: “It is with outmost sadness that we announce that the kafunda, that very Ugandan of creations, is dying; and in many places and instances has already died.” He went on to add that: “Wandegeya market was broken down to make way for a modern market. The destruction of the Wandegeya kafundama…

'Hon' Twinamasiko MP, A True 'Champion' Of Battered Ugandan Women!

Last week, March 8th, was International Women's Day (IWD). IWD for those not in the know, is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity.

IWD celebrations in Uganda, took place in Mityana and were presided over by The Man With The Hat who called for economic independence for women. He said: “If we empower women as well as the graduates, we shall have implemented two programmes: One, enhanced imports substitution, and two, enhanced exports promotion.”
More importantly, he drove a point home with: “An educated and economically empowered mind, will unlock a woman from an abusive spouse.” Then came the message that all women wanted to hear - “A man who batters a woman is foolish and a coward and that some women do not report cases of abuse by their husbands for fear of being driven out to a life of hopelessness and economic desperation.”

There should have been no need for m…

Kayihura Should Embrace His IGP Sacking The Way I Embraced My WBS Sacking

Being sacked, is one thing we dread. Robert Maxwell used to own The Mirror, a UK tabloid and the fable goes, when he sacked senior employees, he would subpoena them to his 9th floor office, fire them but with the utmost reverence then, graciously stride them to the lift to ‘see them off’.

The lift however, was a relic with two sets of doors –the actual lift doors and an outer grill door to protect people from tumbling down the lift shaft once it departed.
With Fired Employee in the lift, Maxwell would unleash his coup de grace and bellow down the lift shaft – “you’re going down, you’re going down!” and his bellowing words would reverberate and echo in the lift till it hit the ground floor. He was a tyrant and sadist!
I used to work for Chairman - Gordon Wava that is, at WBS TV. For a while, all went well until we had a ‘falling out’ and I was sacked. Elvis Wava, the then Executive Director at the station called me to his desk and said: “Tim, I got bad news from Chairman – He’s told me to…