Saturday, September 10, 2016

Has MP Not Heard Of Zebra Crossings?

My childhood was nothing spectacular but as normal as any other child had whilst growing up. I was also fortunate enough to have parents who were switched on and instil in my sisters and I, social values and norms that when we became adults, we would appreciate – although then, we really didn’t appreciate. Like every other child in every household across the world, we saw Parent with their rules and values as being on par with those of Commandant at Auschwitz concentration camp.

My dad – Mr. Bukumunhe that is, is heavily into classical music. However, as a youngster, classical music was not music. The likes of Beethoven, Chopin (Below), Strauss, Tchaikovsky et al who in our opinion, had died before the world came into being, were not musicians. Musicians were the likes of Carl Douglas, Osibisa, Travares and The Bee Gees who were belting out tunes that we could tap our feet to, sing along to and most importantly, dance to. Music was not a long time dead Chopin or Strauss whining away on a violin or Tchaikovsky on the piano.

But Mr. Bukumunhe would make us sit there and listen to them in our valuable time when I would rather have preferred to have been driving my wire car (Below) or playing dulu (marbles) with my friends or my sisters playing kwepena (hopscotch) with their friends. But we listened. We had no choice.

When it came to eating fish, we didn’t use our hands. Mr. Bukumunhe upon his return from one of his travels, had bought fish knives (Below). They differed from the ordinary knife in that they allowed the user to pull away the skin without ripping it due to the larger end and the curve of the knife. Again, we would have rather used our hands or a normal knife, but Mr. Bukumunhe kept on singing that all too familiar and tired song that all parents sang – ‘One day, you will thank me.’

There are many more things that he put us through and today I am glad that I did listen to that all too familiar and tired song because on my travels, I have been to dinners where fish has been presented and I did know how to use a fish knife. I have been to The Proms at the Royal Albert Hall and classical music evenings and I have been able to contribute to a conversation during the interludes.

Another thing we were taught, is how to cross the road like the school kids below. It was something that even a kindergarten school dropout from Bushenyi or Mawokota could grasp. Stand a foot or two away from the edge of kerb. Look across the road to see where you are going to end up, then look left. After that, look right. If no traffic was approaching, inch to the edge of the kerb and repeat the process and if all was safe, briskly cross the road while still glancing left and right to make sure no cars sprung out of nowhere.

While Mr. Bukumunhe taught us how to cross the road. as my father, many others have not been so fortunate especially our duly elected ‘honourable’ Members of Parliament. You see, three weeks ago, MP decided that it was high time KCCA closed off Parliamentary Avenue to traffic. This they figured, would enable them to cross the to and from Parliament in an ‘honourable’ manner and style.

I image the average age of MP is 40something. If MP who is 40something and in 2016 still does not know how to cross a road, then oh dear, there is equally a good chance that as kids they were never potty trained, does not know the use of a toilet brush, pees on the floor or seat or perhaps even squats on the seat.

This makes me believe most MPs were born deep in kyalo where cars didn’t venture and the first time they saw proper tarmac was when they walked from deep in the kyalo to the main road. And when they came to Kampala, they must have been puzzled at the white markings that are painted across some of the roads. If anything, MP finds it easier crossing the road when a herd of cows, mbuzi’s and ewes are rampaging down the road towards them than his own Toyota Prado driven by his driver.

But let's not give up on them. I am sure that Paul Wabwire, who I believe is the clerk to parliament - if not, works in the clerks office, can organise with say UTODA, for MP to have road crossing lessons on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? 

Photos: Alamy, Internet, New Vision