Sunday, June 22, 2014

Ladies, Free That Nipple!

Out there are a number of pressure groups and before I get into the meat of today’s column, there is a need to explain what a pressure group is to people who don’t know.

In a nutshell, it’s a non-profit organization whose members have a common cause for which they seek to influence political or corporate decision makers to achieve a declared objective by promoting it and changing the status quo.

Pressure groups vary from those wanting to save trees, to those who believe meat should not be eaten to those wanting to save the ozone layer and those who want smoking banned.

I don’t have any beef with most of them save for those who want to ban meat for they do not know what they are talking about – and perhaps those who have issues with the tobacco companies.

Now this is where it gets complicated. Google tells me that a nipple, in its most general form, ‘is a structure from which a fluid emanates. More specifically, it is the projection on the breasts of a female by which breast milk is delivered to a child.’ However, what Google doesn’t tell you, is that nipples are considered an erogenous zone, a zone that makes me and men go gaga and start drooling.

I have lost you, haven’t I? Worry not, because you will soon see where I am headed. So I am reading the Daily Mail, a British newspaper, when I come across a US based female pressure group that I have not heard of and who call themselves – wait for it, wait for it, Free The Nipple.

I think I have gotten your attention – well at least most men’s attention not so?

One Sunday, about 20 female protesters took to Washington Square Park, proudly parading around topless and trying to recruit more activists to join them. They also used the opportunity to promote their upcoming feature film about their endeavors to end this insane war on women's boobs!

Free The Nipple, believe women should have the right to bare breasts and have beef with Instagram for women are regularly kicked off the site for posting photos with any portion of the areola exposed, while photos sans nipple - degrading as they might be - remain unchallenged.

Free The Nipple founder Lina Esco, 29, explained that: “In the USA it is Illegal for a woman to be topless in 37 states. In New York City, in 1992 it became legal to be topless in public, but the NYPD continued to arrest women. I believe these laws do not reflect the dream upon which the United States was founded.”

Hmm, so some women out there believe that wearing a bra and covering up is an infringement of their human rights? That is really very interesting.

So what’s going to happen next? Obviously one of our Ugandan sisters living in New York and who has been following the saga is going to get in touch with her sisters here in Kampala and persuade them to open up Free The Nipple – Uganda Chapter. And with that, in their topless state they will take to Kampala Road, get arrested by police and charged with moral indecency.

Of course in the beginning it would be fun to watch them, because there are a number of women whose breasts I, Anus, Doc and many other men would love to see. And when it came to arresting them, would they have only female police officers?

While the law here has problems with women and miniskirts, then I am certain that they will have more than just problems with women wanting to bare their breasts. But sisters, stand firm and free that nipple!