Tuesday, February 25, 2014

It Is Not What It Looks Like On The Surface


I don’t have any issues with people who are disabled or as they now like to call themselves – physically challenged. As far as I am concerned, there are some things that they are not able to do because of their disability and it is not their fault.

I also do go out of my way to help them – if they are in a wheel chair, I will hold the door open for them and if they can’t reach something I will do it for them.

However, there must be a place where the buck stops. I am in the washroom and standing at the urinal which is scared to us men. The ability to be able to stand up while having a pee is something I have always found fascinating. Men can pee while walking but women can’t do that. And like the women that they are, they have to complicate the simple process of having a pee by having to squat.

Getting back, I am at the urinal when I hear shuffling behind me. Looking round, there is a man who is obviously disabled. With six empty urinals to choose from, he decides to come and use the one next to me and that unnerved me. I held firm and carried on.

As I finished and just as I was about to pull up my zipper, Disabled Man spoke and this is what he had to say.

Disabled Man: “My zipper appears to be stuck and I need some help pulling it down.”

TB: “I am not that sort of person!”

Disabled Man: “Oh, it is nothing like that. With my paralysis, sometimes I am unable to pull down my zip especially when it gets stuck.”

Okay, so his right arm had died long ago and what he had to say did make sense and he was not propositioning me. So I agreed to help.

It turns out that metal lever on the zip had not only broken off, but his shirt was also caught in the zip.

It was hard to pull down his zip while I was standing up so I lowered myself and my face towards his crotch area and that is when the washroom door swung open.

Muzungu Man stood there with his face all ashen and not too sure of what to do next. I could see his mind going into overdrive – should I walk out? Should I head for one of the cubicles? Or should I just stand there?

Eventually, he coughed out loud as if trying to attract our attention, then apologized and walked out.

I knew what he was thinking and tried to shout out: “It is not what you think” but he was gone. Minutes later in walked a man in a suit and looking all official. He had to be one of the hotel staff and it was obvious that Muzungu man had reported the incident.

Hotel Official was caught at the crease. He approached the whole affair in a diplomatic manner by going to one of the urinals and pretending to pee. Then he coughed out loud after which he sought to whistle to himself as he tried to figure out his next move.

When I finally got Disabled Man’s zipper down, I fled just in case he asked me to hold IT for him as he peed.

Back in the restaurant, Waiter and Waitresses who had previously been ignoring me stared at me in concern and disgust while tut-ing.

Obviously Hotel Official had spread the word round – that ‘I was doing naughty things to Disabled Man’ - Jeez!