Friday, December 6, 2013

The World Of Reality Television

Recently, the media has been awash with reports of sexual liaisons happening at Uganda Christian University, Kampala International University and Makerere.

Our naughty sons and daughters have been filming their sexual escapades and posting them on Face Book and YouTube for all of us to see. And they are not bashful – no hiding faces or bodies while they satisfy their sexual lust in showers or dorms with other people watching.

Welcome to the age of reality television! I don’t know who invented reality television, but he or she hit on a winning formula. Flipping through the TV channels the other day, just about every channel is swamped with a reality show from Tusker Project Fame, to Hell’s Kitchen to The Real Wives of Atlanta and so forth.

People who go on reality television are brave because of their ability to leave themselves open to ridicule, like the couples on Swingers’ Wives on TLC Channel. It’s an intriguing, if not disturbing reality show. But before I get into the swing of things, there is a need to bring you up to speed about ‘swinging’.

“Swinging is a non-monogamous behaviour, in which partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activity with others as a recreational or social activity and takes place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity at informal gatherings of friends to hooking up with like-minded people at a swingers' club.”


The show followed a number of couples as they drifted from club to club trying to hook up other couples. For Christ sake, there was even a black couple. One lady was so aggressive that no sooner had she hit the club than she was looking round to see which couple her and her hubby could ‘get down’ with. If she liked the couple, they would snogo and feel each other up then go home for foursome sex.


Perhaps that’s where our university students got the idea from for according to my sources, in their campus dorms they hold boyfriend and girlfriend swapping sexual liaisons which they film. But why would anybody want to be in a room as you watch your better half having sex with somebody else? Hmm!


Reality television is not all about sex, Tusker Project Fame or Big Brother. Since Erias Lukwago, assumed the mayor’s office, he along with Kizza Besigye, have been starring in their own reality show.


The gist of their show is as follows. Lukwago gets into an argument with a woman called Jennifer Musisi. Getting vexed, he starts throwing tantrums, storms out of his office and calls Besigye and together they drive downtown to a place called Kisseka Market where goons slither out of the sewers and start causing chaos – throwing stones, burning tyres and so forth.


A phone call is soon placed to a man in the police force called Affande Omara who swings into action with his anti-riot squad and beat up everybody in sight, fire tear gas and close down the market stalls.


That done, they go after Lukwago and drag him by the scruff of his neck like a chicken thief from his luxury Land Rover while he protests after which they go for Besigye and throw him onto a police pick-up and dump him in CPS.


Each episode of The Lukwago/Besigye Reality Show usually ends with Lukwago being a drama queen - lying on a hospital bed on an intravenous drip while babbling on about how Musisi does not know what she is doing. For extra effect – to get the television audience on his side, he also sissy cries about how Affande Omara fired tear gas at him. I can’t wait for the next episode!